Newbie and Probie


 This blog will run like a personal journal at times but I also have a few themes. Tales of the Cutoffs will be those who have a bit (or a lot) too much and must be cut off. BOA, or Bitch on Arrival, will discuss the douchebags that I’d like to beat with giant beer mug (but didn’t because this face wouldn’t do well in prison). Lastly, Pickups and Failed Funnies will feature all of the corny pickup attempts and jokes that only the teller finds hilarious.

First I must set up the blog with the beginning. This is how this all started…

So I’m a new bartender. No I’m not a person who’s never been around alcohol ever but I’ve just never been the one to make the drinks. I’ve always wanted to learn but never had the chance/opportunity.

I will not say the name of the place I work, just that it’s a place where the bartenders are female models with hair, makeup, image requirements etc. So that adds even more fun to the mix of booze.

We went through rigorous training, some days lasting for twelve looooong hours. We learned company branding, marketing, etc. before getting to the bar. For the bar portion we learned the company specials and most popular drinks. We also free pour-that means instead of measuring the amount of ounces of booze we pour and count, hoping it’s at least somewhat close to the amount of ounces. I realize it’s quicker but personally my OCD self prefers the known accuracy of the jigger pour.

Anyway I was (proudly) the only person to pass the free pour test the first time. Does that mean I’m comfortable and awesome at it? Yeah…no. Then we were timed on making two random drinks and had to take a written test on recipes, ounces of different glasses, signs of intoxication, etc. My state requires a liquor license, which involves answering four questions (one was “Are you a cop”??) and paying $30.

Despite my slow pace and inexperience I have tended bar for the last three nights. It has been interesting. I’ve cut off a table of twelve people and one person seated at the bar. I’ll detail those in the “Tales of the Cutoffs” themed posts.

Apparently there are a shortage of attractive females over the age of twenty-one so we are all worked to death in the bar. (Many places tend to hire more attractive women as they bring in more men and money) Along with other multiple jobs I was scheduled to work seven straight days of nine hours each and a double shift.

I had my first mini-meltdown. I’m normally not an emotional person at all but after getting only two hours of sleep at night and being at some form of work from 8 a.m. to 1 a.m. I was a shortfuse. After seeing the schedule with no days off for another four days I was first pissed, then cried. And once I started there was no stopping.

Thankfully, once of the best people in the world ever said she’d take my shift so I could have the day off. Most of the people there don’t have other jobs so why I was one of the only ones scheduled without days off is beyond me. But I owe her soooo much.

So after today’s much needed sleep and rest, there will be more!